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Thunderstruck
28
July
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Thunderstruck:  Adj. as if struck dumb with astonishment and surprise

Have you ever been thunderstruck?  I try not to be, but when your family is made up of Big D, Bonny Annie, Dirty Harry and Cap’n Jack Henry it seems to be a way of life.  Also, have you ever noticed that different things cause different people to be thunderstruck?  I mean what shocks one person is barely a blip on the screen of another.

Take Bonny Annie’s recent hairstyle…

I was mildly thunderstruck when I saw her bound down our stairs with dreadlocks on the morning of our departure for South Carolina.  But I was even more thunderstruck (thunderstricken?) when she wanted to know if I thought she looked African American.  I bit my tongue to keep from laughing.  The child is from Swedish and Irish/European ancestry.  She is a redhead.  With freckles.  She has to use SPF50 sunscreen.  Again, even more thunderstruckism occured when she was disappointed that she did not look African American and she confessed that she had always wanted to look thusly.  You learn something new everyday, I guess.

Big D, I’m quite sure was (or will be) thunderstruck to see that I was indeed able to pack our van for the trip by myself.

Now, don’t tell anyone this, okay?  But I was a little thunderstruck by this as well.  There was a moment that I didn’t think I could do it either.

Later, on our trip, I was thunderstruck by this…

Not so much that Indiana Mimi is drinking Pepsi from one of Jack Henry’s bottles (because I was the one who poured it for her), but that she actually drank it and posed for a picture with it.  I mean she knows any photo I take is fair game for my blog or Facebook, but there she sat, poised with her beverage in a baby’s bottle, allowing me to capture the moment with my camera.  I think Indiana Mimi must have been very tired.

Before we left on our trip, I had asked Annaleigh to watch Jack Henry for me for a while so that I could get some packing done, and I was thunderstruck by this site in her room when I was later looking for them….

Her explanation was that she was trying to get some packing done herself, and was unsuccessful with Jack Henry rolling all over her bed.  She found that he was happy….and contained….when placed inside her open suitcase.  Now that I’m here at home by myself with the Cap’n, I’m finding this may not be such a bad idea.  Where is that suitcase, anyway?

I don’t think anyone was more thunderstruck than Clara to be brought to a home and plunked down in front of her mirror image:  her sister, Sadie, who is owned by my sister’s family.  I think what was most thunderstriking to Clara was that she discovered on this trip that she is, in fact, a dog.  We do not sniff her rear or try to clean her ears with our tongues or try to steal and chew on her toys.  She sleeps in the kids’ beds, takes showers with them and sits on the sofa to watch TV.  It was a rude awakening for Miss Clara to be treated like a dog by other dogs, no less….but a fun one, eventually.

I was not thunderstruck to be tail-gated in downtown Charleston, but Annaleigh and Harrison were VERY thunderstruck that we were being tail-gated by this…

I guess it’s all perspective.

I’ll leave you with this short video clip of Harrison’s All-Star team being announced at the opening ceremony at the TN Youth Baseball Assoc. championships.  Because, ironically, they marched to AC/DC’s song “Thunderstruck.”  (Dirty Harry is one that is carrying a smaller sign in the front right.  The one with the sunglasses on his cap.)

 

So, what gets you all thunderstruck?

Category: My Crew, Uncategorized  Tags: , , ,  9 Comments
Greetings from South Carolina….and Mongolia.
23
July
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I made it to South Carolina, and I didn’t fall asleep driving.  I’ve actually fallen asleep very, very little since last Saturday night, but Iwon’t talk to you about mine and Jack Henry’s little problems.  I’ll just have you know that as soon as he’s old enough to go anywhere, he’s grounded.  For a year.

I brought my laptop because I was intending to blog while I was here, but I’ve been having problems figuring out how to post pictures to my blog without Photoshop (which I didn’t realize until I got here wasn’t loaded onto this computer).

So, I thought I’d jump on here briefly and share some of the photos that Big D has been posting from Mongolia.  He’s, from all appearances , having a great time (despite a brief bout with some kind of 24 hour flu bug).

That’s Big D and his new friend Munkh.  I think Munkh must have served as a guide of sorts to Big D on a little tour of the area.  And just so you know, my information is coming from very brief e-mails and the captions that he’s posted with his pictures.  It’s like a confusing, frustrating puzzle….but a little bit fun….trying to figure out where he is and what he’s doing.

Above is some huge monument that was built for the 800th anniversary of Genghis Khan’s rule.  The cars pictured give you some perspective of its size.  Big D and others went to see Transformers there apparently. He says they entered somewhere near the tail, which I found extremely funny, but I’m kinda sophmoric in my humor.

Here’s a view from his head…

Big D says he was surprised at the beauty of Mongolia.  I wonder if I’m going to have to move there.  I wonder if the Lord knows that I would have a hard time living somewhere that doesn’t have chocolate chips at the ready.  He probably does….

They have cars and some roads, but they deal with a different kind of traffic…

But a lot of the roads are of the dirt variety…. (That’s Josh of Watermelon Ministry, whom Big D went over with)…

This is one of my favorite pictures.  It’s the top of a Buddhist temple and the prayer flags.

I just love the color.

I have a hard time looking at these next few pictures…

I told Big D just to forget the souvenirs and bring those little boys home, so that I could love them, and bathe them, and read to them, and sign them up for baseball.  But I’m not sure how he’d get them past customs….

 Want to see more?  He has tons more posted at his website.  Click here.

Category: Admiral Big D  Tags: , ,  2 Comments
A Plethora of Problems
16
July
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I got up at about 6am this morning…not because I wanted to, but because Cap’n Jack Henry demanded it.  As I sat on the sofa, nursing him, I was pondering what to blog this morning.  I pondered this for roughly forty-five minutes because that’s about how long it takes him to finish in the mornings.  When I put him back in his crib, I still had nothing.  So basically this is going to turn into a gripe session of sorts.  I’m going to state some problems I’ve been having, and then I want you, my readers (all ten or so of you) to solve them for me in the comment section.  Okay? Okay!  Let’s get started….

  1. Since I just mentioned him, let’s start with Jack Henry.  For a few months now he’s been sleeping through the night.  He wakes up in the early morning hours, nurses for.ev.er., but then I’m able to put him back to bed for another hour or two.  I can either go back to bed (rare…unfortunately) or stumble down to my coffee pot, shoot up with its contents, start some laundry and then work on my blog for a while.  My problem is that for the past few mornings Jack Henry is not going back to sleep.  He’s waking up between 5 and 6 am and then actually staying awake without the aid of caffeine or other stimulants.  This concerns me on so many levels, but mainly I’m worried about this blog because this is the only time I have to maintain it.  Help!!!  Do I give him a small dose of Sudafed?  A shot of brandy?  Monetary bribes? 
  2. Dirty Harry has taken to sleeping in these long, shiny basketball-ish type shorts and no shirt for the summer.  He’s also taken leave of his underwear.  But that’s not the problem.  The problem is that when he gets up in the morning, he just puts on a tee-shirt that nearly matches the shorts and considers himself dressed.  Is this okay?  Can one just wear the shorts that he slept in all night?  Isn’t that like staying all day in your jammies?  And what about the underwear?  He should put some on, shouldn’t he?  Help me, please.  Boys are a total and complete mystery to me.
  3. The light bulb burned out in our refrigerator a couple of weeks ago.  Big D cannot remember to replace it, and I cannot remember to remind him to.  During the day, we have a lot of good, natural light in the kitchen, so it’s not a huge problem, but at 9pm, I can’t always find the coffee creamer, and that my friends, is a catastrophe.  So, what do we do?  How can we remember during regular business hours to replace the bulb?  Or am I destined for a life of darkness as far as refrigeration is concerned?
  4. Over the past few months I have noticed an alarming trend with me and road trips.  Basically I can’t hold my eyelids open after about twenty minutes of cruising.  Normally this is okay since Big D does most of the driving, and he’s happy to listen to talk radio and snap unflattering pictures of me with my mouth hanging open and drool running down my cheek.  But Big D is leaving for Mongolia tomorrow morning, and on Sunday I’m leaving for Charleston, SC….a nine hour drive from here…with the kids, Clara, and Indiana Mimi.  Indiana Mimi is a licensed driver, but she has not driven on an Interstate since about 1981.  Bonny Annie, while she plays a mean Mario Kart, is about three years shy of her drivers license.  And while Clara is an extraordinarily talented canine, I don’t think she can reach the gas pedal.  Dirty Harry and the Cap’n are out of the question.  What do I do?  Are energy drinks better than coffee?  Do I hook up some kind of IV, so I’m getting  a steady dose of caffeine?  Have Indiana Mimi slap my face every ten miles or so?  I’m desperate people.  What do you suggest?
  5. I have decided that I don’t want Big D to go to Mongolia after all.  What was I thinking?!  Who is going to make the coffee, pump the gas and mow the lawn around here?  How can I go two weeks without my morning back rub?  Who is going to threaten Dirty Harry for me?  I told Big D last night that I had changed my mind, that I couldn’t survive two weeks without him,and do you know what he did?  He smiled and patted my shoulder!  So, how can I sabotage his trip in the next 24 hours?  Wreck my van?  Cry and act hysterical?  Tell him that I’m pregnant?  Quick, quick, quick….I need answers….FAST!

Alright, I think that’s about it.  The end of my problem list.  If the above are solved, then the planets will align, the ozone layer will heal itself, and the lion will lie down with the lamb.  Until I can think of some more wacky, self-absorbed dilemmas….

(And I’m NOT pregnant.)

Category: The Pirate Mom Speaks  14 Comments
Nerds of the Highest Order
15
July
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That’s what we are.  Well, three of us anyway:  Me, Bonny Annie and Dirty Harry.  Big D and Cap’n Jack Henry are still cool.  Oh wait….Big D has a fascination with LED lights and has been known to wear head lamps.  That leaves the Cap’n as the only cool one left in the bunch.  But, really, it’s just a matter of time for him too.

This is what recently brought out our nerdiness in full force…

A cardboard box.  Not only are we nerds, but we’re losers too.

Okay, not really.  The box was filled with these…

New books!  More specifically, part of our new curriculum for the coming school year.  And you can see, we also have a nerdy dog.  Of course, she has a FaceBook page too, so what did you expect?

Every year when we get this box the kids open it and spread its contents all over the floor.  They like to play this game where I read the titles off the packing slip, and they race each other to find the corresponding book.  I know that we just went up a level of nerdiness by that admission.

You can see there that Cap’n Jack is totally unmoved by the books that surround him.  That is because his sole goal in life at the moment is to try to remove the toys which hang from the bar over his bouncy seat.  They haunt his every waking moment, and they must be destroyed.

And the other two?  Total geeks, the both of them.  Harrison is making no attempt to hide his unadulterated enthusiasm.  He’s practically drooling.  The zealot!  Annaleigh, on the otherhand, who is nearly thirteen, is trying to keep her cool.  But I know better.  Inside her heart is going pitter-pat, her palms are sweaty, her eyes are starting to dialate, and her nose is slightly twitching because it just caught a whiff of that new book smell.  Right after I snapped these photos she was off like the Tasmanian devil.

I know this because it was exactly how I was feeling too.

Books:  they are a disease.

Category: Books, My Crew, homeschooling  8 Comments
Eighteen
14
July
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Yesterday was my 18th wedding anniversary.

Scan07132009_114356_edited-3

The year was 1991, and yes, our hair was very big.

Yesterday Big D had to travel for work.  I took care of kids, straightened the house, took Dirty Harry to baseball practice and ate at Burger King for dinner.  Even though we knew this was coming and had already celebrated a week ago, it still made me feel a little down.  Until this arrived….

That, my friends, is a three and a half foot high flower arrangement.  Yeah.

Later, when I was talking to Big D by phone, he explained that he asked the florist to include eighteen different types of flowers to the arrangement.  That is sooooo Big D.  Why send a dozen and half red roses when you can be creative, elaborate, and crazy?

Eighteen different flowers, eh?  Let’s see….  Count with me!

We’ll start with the obvious.  One, two, three (sunflower, spongy yellow thing and little pink bloom)…

Four…

Five, six…

Seven…

Eight, nine (yellow button flower thingies and light pink rose in background)…

Ten, eleven…

Twelve, thriteen, fourteen (there are two different kinds of white blossoms)…

Fifteen…

Sixteen, seventeen (see those greenish things towards the bottom?  Well, I’m counting those!)…

 

And then eighteen…

Eighteen?  Eighteen?!  Where are you?!

Oh….I guess the florist counted the cattail…

There.  Eighteen.

Eighteen beautiful flowers.

Eighteen beautiful years.

I love Big D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That’s eighteen exclamation marks.)

 

Category: Admiral Big D  Tags: , ,  9 Comments
Movie Review: Public Enemies
09
July
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I used to occasionally do movie reviews on my old blog.  I would like to continue to do that here, but there’s just one problem:  we never go see movies anymore.  Actually, that’s not entirely true.  A few months ago I did take the kids to see a movie.  It was Hannah Montana, and I spent most of the time nursing Jack Henry and counting the minutes until it was over and I could be put out of my misery.  My review would have been something like, “Avoid this film at all costs.”  Now that Jack Henry is getting older and can stay with Indiana Mimi, we may venture out to the theater a little more often.

Anyway, last weekend we did see the above film, and here’s my take on it…

Brief Synopsis (w/ no spoilers….I promise!):  This movie is about the life of crime of Great Depression gangster, John Dillinger, played brilliantly…of course…by Johnny Depp.  The plot also interweaves the beginnings of the FBI.

Why We Went to See It:  Big D and I were celebrating our anniversary a little early because this year it falls on a Monday, which is a dud-of-a-day to celebrate anything, and the weekend before we have a TaeKwonDo tournament AND a baseball tournament, which leaves no time for a proper celebration.  We did the traditional “dinner and a movie.”  We had it narrowed down to this one and The Proposal, a romantic comedy with Sandra Bullock, and Big D made the final decision.  Leave it to the man, and he will choose the gangster film every time.

Why You Might Want to See It:  It really was a very entertaining movie, and at over 2 1/2 hours, you feel you get your money’s worth at least.  The acting was above average.  Christian Bale, another talented actor, plays Melvin Purvis, the agent trying to put John Dillinger behind bars.  From what I can tell, it was fairly historically accurate.  I didn’t know a whole lot about John Dillinger going into the movie, but I looked him up after seeing it, and besides adding a lot of clever dialogue, it seems the maker pretty much stuck with the basics.

Why You Might Not Want to See It:  The film is rated R for gangster violence and some language.  The “some language” they mention, while not profuse, is gritty.  I handled the violence alright, and I’m pretty wimpy when it comes to violence.  In other words, lots of people die, but it’s not that bloody.  In a theater, the guns are pretty loud and sometimes startling.  In other words I came very close to screaming out loud like I’ve been known to do when I’m startled.  There are a couple of scenes of John and a lady friend that are pretty steamy.  No nudity, but I wouldn’t want my kids to see it.  I would guess that most of you would want to keep your kids home for this one too.

Will You Die If You Don’t See It?:  No, I’d say not, but still a good flick nonetheless.  I even toyed with the idea of changing my blog’s name to bankrobbermomdotcom , but I guess I won’t afterall.  I’m still more of a pirate girl.

A Good Substitute:  The Untouchables is in the same genre, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen that movie, that I can’t really intelligently comment on it.  I haven’t seen a ton of gangster movies over the years, but I did find this, 100 Greatest Gangster Movies.  I haven’t even seen The Godfather, which Indiana Mimi thinks is a crime  in itself.

Category: Movie Reviews, The Pirate Mom Speaks  2 Comments
Light in the Darkness
08
July
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A little later this summer Big D is going to Mongolia.

Mongolia.  Until just a few years ago, I had given very little thought to the country of Mongolia.  It ranked right up there with the likes of Timbuktu, Djibouti, and Belize as far as geography was concerned.  I knew it was the country of Genghis Khan….and that was about it.

Then in 2006, my pastor and his family just up and became missionaries to Mongolia, and what do you know?….Mongolia became a place we heard about quite a bit and talked about over dinner and coffee.  (Obviously there’s a little….or a lot….more to the Andersons’ story which you can read about and follow at www.remembermongolia.org .)

Big D was invited on a missions trip to Mongolia with Watermelon Ministry to help with some photography projects.  It was a no-brainer for us really.  As soon as Big D told me he had been invited, I knew it was the right thing for him to do.  I say that nonchalantly, but that in itself is a major God-thing, as sometimes I’m not sure I want Big D to go to Kroger without me.  Sending him half-way around the world is a big step of faith for me…and him…and all of us.

Since that time just a couple of months ago so many things have fallen into place that it’s just crazy to think about.  I would not have been more in awe if I had woken up one morning to a neon sign flashing “Go to Mongolia!” in our front yard.

Spiritually, Mongolia is a dark country.  One thing Big D wanted to do was have a little something to give to locals as he took their pictures.   He thought of flashlights, and on a whim, he contacted www.coastportland.com to see if there was any way they would like to assist is bringing light, literally and figuratively, to Mongolia.  They said “yes”!

Yesterday Big D got a big box from Coast, and I’ve never seen him more excited.

Light.  Lots and lots of light….batteries included!

Big D  is a big fan of LED lights (so is Dirty Harry and his bird chest), so it was like Christmas opening the box because Coast included more than the 100 little lights.  They sent the two lights Big D is opening above.  They sent the lantern you see here…

And they sent this…

The X21.  Now I don’t know a ton about LED lights, but apparently this is the brightest one there is.  It is the Big Daddy of LEDs.

If the X21 had been on when I took this picture, I would be blind now…or dead.  Maybe.

We don’t even know exactly what Big D is going to be doing with these hundreds of dollars worth of lights yet, but God most definitely has a plan, and I’m getting so excited to see what that is.  Stay tuned as I’ll be following the saga here on my blog every step of the way!

In the meantime, let your light shine, people!

Category: Admiral Big D  Tags: , ,  13 Comments
Afternoons With Jack Henry
07
July
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***Disclaimer:  Jack Henry is the best and happiest baby on the planet.  I am sorry to my other two and to the other billions of babies that have walked that earth, but it’s true.  He is.  So it is in no way an act of major complaining or woe-is-me type of thing on my part.  This is just slice-of-life reporting, and that is all.

 

I have almost no complaints about Jack Henry.  Almost.

When Jack Henry first came home from the hospital, it seemed he slept for days.  I did too.  That first week home is one big blur in my memory.  We were both majorly sleep-deprived from our week in the NICU, and I think Jack Henry was so relived and finally comfortable to be free from tubes, lights and needles that he had no choice but to sleep and sleep and sleep.

But then he discovered his surroundings, and he liked them, and he didn’t want to miss out on anything, so he stayed awake.  All. Of. The. Time.  He still did pretty well at night, and eventually he started sleeping through pretty early on, but during the day, he never shut his eyes.  He watched every move we made.  We took to calling him “Geico.”

See the resemblance to our Cap’n?

He did this for months.  He wasn’t fussy.  He didn’t cry much.  He just stayed awake as long as he could hold his eyes open, which was until about 8:00pm, and then he’d pass out.  The next day he’d wake up around 5 or 6:00am, and we’d start the whole process again.

Over the past couple of months, he has started sleeping more during the day.  I can almost always get him to take a morning nap, and he naps in the afternoon about 60-70% of the time.

On the days he doesn’t nap, afternoons are the roughest.  The Cap’n is exhausted, but fighting it big time.  He doesn’t want to be put down, but one tires easily just holding him constantly.

Last Sunday afternoon found me in one of these situations.  I was alone with him.  The kids had been invited to swim at the neighbors, and Big D was…well, now that I think about it, I can’t remember where he was.  Eventually, Jack Henry and I ended up on my bed.

That’s a weird pacifier, isn’t it?  Jack Henry will only take a specific brand of pacifier, and I discovered they have a line with little animals attached to them. At first I thought it was cute, but now I think it makes him look like a little like leopard seal with a dead penguin hanging from his jaws.

Sunday afternoon was really hitting me by now, and my eyelids were starting to droop….but not Jack Henry’s.  He was wide awake and enjoying his photo shoot.

Here he’s showing me his supermodel-brooding-bored look.

Next, he thought he’d try a different angle with his “di-di.”  (Our name for the pacifier.  Annaleigh coined it back in the day.)

And finally, a view of his little bald spot.  Oh yes, Sunday afternoon around here was just hoppin’!

Eventually, he rolled over to his tummy, and I was so bored by this point that I decided to video tape a little session with the Cap’n and share it with you.  Now, you can spend four minutes with us, you lucky thing you.  Keep in mind that the following went on for four hours, which is perhaps what this four minutes may seem like to you.  Feel free to bang your head against the wall when this over.

 

Okay, who wants to babysit?  Please arrive at 2:00pm sharp, and don’t forget your RockStar energy drink.  Three of them.

Category: Cap'n Jack Henry  3 Comments
I Came. I Saw. I Heckled.
03
July
admin

Revenge is sweet.

Dirty Harry, as you know if you’re a regular visitor to my blog, plays baseball, and he made All-Stars.  This week the team has been playing in our district tournament, and we’ve been doing really well.  As a matter of fact, last night we played for the championship.  We lost, but I don’t want to talk about that right now.  It still hurts a little….especially since we lost in extra innings.  Because our home town was hosting this event, the stands were extraordinarily crowded, and since I’m always lugging a large stroller, a diaper bag, several folding chairs, and a large iced coffee from McDonald’s, I decided that we would try sitting out behind the left field fence.

Our view was very good, and it wasn’t until we were stationed out there that I thought about the fact that we were directly behind Dirty Harry’s position of left field.  And it wasn’t until we were out there for a while that I realized this was my golden opportunity to heckle him to death.

Oh, and heckle I did.

Hustle Harrison!  Are your feet made of lead?

Catch the ball! 

Use two hands!

Throw it in!

Second base!  Second base!

After a while I realized there was no reason to limit my comments to just baseball.  This was my chance to let it all out, to let him know how I feel about…well…everything/

Clean your room, #13!

Don’t leave your underwear on the bathroom floor!

Your handwriting is atrocious!

I still have nasty scars and stretch marks from when I carried you and brought you into the world!

He couldn’t do anything about it.  He had to just stand there and play left field and take it like a man.  But play he did!  That boy caught almost half a dozen fly balls!  Which only made me think I should heckle him more often.

I am sorry about blogging about baseball so much, but we really haven’t done much else lately.  It is consuming our lives…..or ruining it in Bonny Annie’s estimation.  Speaking of Bonny Annie, she was at the game in left field with me too…

She reads her Harry Potterbooks, makes trips to the concession stand for Icees, and complains about being there.  I have to heckle her too.

Stop you’re bellyaching!  Do you know how many Nutcracker performances your brother has had to sit through?!

I don’t think she heard me.

Cap’n Jack Henry was there as well.

He’s a heckler too.

Get the ball, Bubby!  Get it!

Throw him out!

And then it turned ugly, and he started heckling me…

Get me off this ballfield, woman!  I’ve been on a baseball field for half my life!

Take this silly bib off of me!

Where is my pacifier?!

Clearly I’m going to have to use a different tactic with this one.  Heckling, I believe, will get me nowhere.

 

 

Category: Bonny Annie, Cap'n Jack Henry, Dirty Harry, My Crew  Tags: , ,  2 Comments
Very Bizarre Situations
02
July
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I am convinced that is what VBS really stands for.  Don’t give me any of that Vacation Bible School business.  I know better.

Maybe I feel this way because I work in crafts.  I’ve done this for about the past five years now, and it may be that the glue is finally getting to my brain.  All I know is that you hear strange things back in the craft room.  You say strange things back in the craft room.

One night we made hats.  Well, the hats were pre-made, but we decorated the hats with fabric markers and stencils.  This kid was coloring his hat when I heard the following conversation:

Kid:  I’m drawing the Ten Commandments on my hat.

Friend:  Why?

Kid:  Because I like the Ten Commandments.

Friend:  But why do you want them on your hat?

Kid:  Because I like hats with the Ten Commandments on them.

Why yes, of course.  I was just at Kohl’s the other day, and they had a very nice selection of Ten Commandment hats.

On another day, I was trying to feed Cap’n Jack Henry a jar of baby food in between classes.  I didn’t finish in time, and I still had his car seat propped up on one of the tables trying to force feed him a jar of sweet potatoes.  A little girl who was coming into the craft room came around to look at Jack.

Little Girl:  Is that your baby?

Me:  No, I just went and grabbed a baby from the nursery, brought him into the craft room, strapped him into this seat, and am now attempting to feed him something that looks like it came from his diaper.  (Actually, I just answered, “yes.”)

Little Girl:  She’s cute.

Me:  Thank you, but he’s a boy.

Little Girl:  Oh.  What are you feeding him?

Me:  Sweet potatoes.

Little Girl:  Does he like it?

Me:  I think so.  He’s eating it.  (Please note, at this point Jack Henry started blowing raspberries, nearly spraying me and Little Girl with his dinner.)

Little Girl:  I don’t think he likes it.  I wouldn’t like it.

Me:  Me neither.  (And I proceeded then to pack up Jack Henry and take him back to the nursery.)

On another night, we were making necklaces.  I was helping a particular kid who has a brother that I always confuse for him.  For privacy purposes, I’ll just refer to them as Tom and Jerry.

Me:  Tom, would you like for me to tie your necklace for you.

Tom just stands there staring at me.

Me:  Well, would you like that, Tom?

Nothing.  More staring.

Me:  Tom, I can tie your necklace if you’d like.  Then you can wear it.

Tom still just stares.

Me: (turning  a little purple) TOM….why aren’t you answering me?!

Tom:  Because I’m not Tom.  I’m Jerry.

Me: (slowly exhaling, counting to ten)  Well, why didn’t you just say so?

Jerry:  I don’t know.

Another group was coloring puzzles with scenes from the Bible one night, and I overheard this conversation:

Group Leader:  Oh my, Little Boy!  You are coloring that picture very nicely!

Little Boy:  Do you know how I know how to color Noah’s Ark like this?

Group Leader: (smiles proudly) You must have read about it in your Bible.

Little Boy:  Ummm, no.  I saw it on Evan Almighty.

Frankly, I could go on and on with little bizarre vignettes such as this.  What’s amazing is that despite what happens for twenty minutes each night in the craft room, the Gospel is always presented along the way, and every year we have kids who are touched and changed.  My own Bonny Annie came to Christ at VBS several years ago, which is why I always show up with my glue sticks, and my markers, and my pipe cleaners and have strange conversations with five year-olds.

I will leave you with one last very bizare situation.

One night the oldest group was making  sand art crosses, and I heard myself shout the following:

Alright, everyone!  The most important thing to remember is to always hold the cross upside-down!

Thankfully none of the kids were bothered by my Satanic instruction, and I can assure you that most of them did not follow my advice anyway because there was colored sand everywhere!

Category: The Pirate Mom Speaks, crafts  Tags: , ,  8 Comments
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