I think we’ve established here on The Pirate Mom Dot Com that Cap’n Jack Henry is pretty cute.
And he’s sweet. And he does funny things. And all in all, he’s been a fairly good, easy baby.
But in order to maintain integrity here on this blog, it’s only fair to let you know that the Cap’n has another side. A more sinister side. It’s sad but true.
For the record, we are trying to break that habit. It has caused some uncomfortable situations. He did this, not once but twice, to the kids’ TaeKwonDo instructor’s wife. Mrs. Rodgers, if you’re reading this as you occasionally do, again, I’m VERY sorry for that incident. So far, he’s only slapped people that he truly likes and greatly admires.
While, I did stop the taping to give him some baby discipline, one has to ask, “Did Bonny Annie deserve that?”. She is thirteen years-old, and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
I came to the realization the other day that if anyone ever wanted to write my biography that they would have a difficult time with the details because every week I wipe all of their research material off with Windex.
Not that anyone would want to write my biography. Because it would be boring. Really, really boring.
But isn’t that ridiculous though? The calendar above? What you’re looking at is the month of April. What you’re looking at is chaos, color-coded chaos.
And don’t let the color-codedness fool you into thinking I’m organized. I’m a hot mess most of the time.
This calendar and all of its demands is the reason that I wake up every morning and can’t remember what day it is or even who I am half the time.
It is the reason I go to the grocery store and come home with two boxes of gourmet brownie mix and realize that I forgot sliced cheese and Q-tips.
It is the reason I have had a particular Netflix movie in my home for 22 days and can’t find time to watch it.
It is the reason that some days I forget to eat lunch until it’s 4:30, and my stomach growls a reminder to me.
It is the reason that I don’t have any close friends.
It is the reason that my children ask me questions that I don’t really hear, and I give them answers that don’t really make sense.
It is the reason that the gas gauge in my van is always below the 1/2 mark.
It is the reason I buy Extra-Strength Tylenol and take them like vitamins.
It is the reason I can’t remember names anymore.
It is the reason that it takes me two years to read through the Bible.
It is the reason that I have only completed six pages in Jack Henry’s baby book.
It is the reason that I don’t even know what my own abbreviations on this calendar mean anymore.
A-HG @ McL-7? Seriously?! I have no clue. Kilroy? Who/what is Kilroy? TKD…Take kids down? Train kids daily? Treat Kellie’s delusions? Help…somebody help me!!!
Yes, my life is crazy. I have a lot to do. I have a lot of places to be. But do you know what else it all means?
It means that I am blessed with a talented, productive family.
It means that God will give me the strength to do what He’s called me to do.
It means that we have a lot of fun.
It means that there are six week-old fast food french fries stuffed into the seats of my car.
It means that I better cut this blog post short because I’m sure I probably have somewhere I need to be…
Or “How to Make a Complete Mess of Your Kitchen Table for about Ten Seconds of Excitement.”
Dirty Harry has been studying the earth for a while now. For a culminating activity, we built a little volcano in our kitchen. It was a fun project for a kid who likes to build things, and we did ours on the cheap. Sure, you can buy a kit for about $20, but I’ll bet you have the materials to make one just behind your kitchen cabinets.
Here’s what you’ll need…
vinegar
baking soda
a small glass (we used a shot glass, but you could use any size)
clay or Play-doh (optional)
a cookie sheet or some other flat pan to protect the surface of your table or counter (optional)
other objects to create a scene such as Lego figures, grass, rocks, etc. (optional)
First, if you’d like your volcano to look authentic, you will need to cover your glass with the clay, leaving an opening at the top.
Then, if your child wants to be creative, allow them to make a volcanic scene on the cookie sheet. Dirty Harry used Lego people and grass and rocks from outside.
Oh, and look…Indiana Jones has made an appearance to watch the eruption…
To create the actual eruption, you fill your glass half full with the vinegar. Then you will spoon the baking soda into the glass until the mixture starts to bubble up and out. You can continue to add vinegar and baking soda alternately until your child has had their fill of volcanic activity.
Here’s a little video of ours…
Then have your child clean up all the mess so that you can put dinner on the table. They will grumble, complain, cry and gnash their teeth. Then threaten them with a grounding from their Wii. At this, they will probably comply, but you can probably still expect a dirty look or two.
Of course, you will probably want to remind your student that this project differs very much from what happens beneath the earth’s surface. This eruption is caused by a chemical reaction of the vinegar and baking soda and is simply a fun visual of a real, live volcano.
Related links:
A cool site with various kinds of homemade volcanoes and videos (Please note that while the volcano material is completely fine, that there are links to some questionable videos that may appear randomly in the sidebars. So, please use caution if you’re viewing with your children nearby.)
I have heard many, many times that one will not take as many pictures of their subsequent children as they do of their first. This has proved wrong in our family. Way wrong.
We did take a ton of pictures of Bonny Annie. She was cute. She was a little red-headed girl. She was the first grandchild. On both sides. She was oft-photographed.
But we took even more pictures of Dirty Harry. He was cute too. He was chubby. He was the first boy grandchild. On both sides. But it was mostly because we had a better camera.
But Cap’n Jack Henry wins the prize. He is undoubtedly the most photographed child in our family. Possibly in the whole world. He’s cute. He’s little. He has extra-long eyelashes. And super-curly hair. He’s the 6th grandchild. On both sides.
Allow me to demonstrate this dynamic…
Yesterday was Easter, right? All three kids got a little bit of candy in their baskets. See…
So far, so good.
So, how many photos does it take to document each child’s consumption of said candy? Let’s take a look…
Specimen #1, Bonny Annie:
One…
Two…
(and she’s probably going to kill me for posting that one)
Three…
Three…not bad. Sufficient. To the point.
Specimen #2, Dirty Harry:
One…
One? Just one? And I was lucky to get that one. He doesn’t like to sit still for picture-taking.
Specimen #3, Cap’n Jack Henry:
One…
Two…
Three…
Four…
Five…
Six…
Seven…
Eight…
Nine…
Ten…
Eleven…
Eleven. Eleven!!! Excessive. Superfluous. And I deleted the blurry ones.
So, as you can see, it is possible to take more pictures of your second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. children than you did of your first. It can be done. I believe that I also proved that it would be crazy for us to try to have a fourth child. We simply do not have the time or energy to take and process all of the potential pictures.
Yoplait recently contacted me with an opportunity to host a giveaway here on my site. Me…The Pirate Mom…not the Goddess Mom…not the Pegasus Mom…not the Mount Olympus Mom…not even the I-Look-Good-in-Gladiator-Sandals-and-a-Toga Mom. I was beyond flattered.
Basically, the first 50 readers (do I even have 50 readers???) to sign up below, will receive a coupon for a free container of the new Yoplait Greek yogurt. Trust me on this one….it’s goooooood! It is thick and creamy, and it contains 12 grams of protein, which is twice that of the leading yogurt. And it gets even better….it has ZERO grams of fat, a healthy dose of vitamins A and D and comes in four delicious flavors: plain, strawberry, blueberry, and my personal favorite, honey vanilla!
I know all of this because the representative overnighted me a little cooler with samples of each kind. Yes, overnighted. Yes, yogurt. It was surreal…and amazingly cold.
I don’t think anything has ever been overnighted to me, let alone four containers of yogurt. But, oh man…were they good! I plowed through them over the weekend, and I definitely plan to add this product to my regular grocery list.
And guess what? Even your dog will like it…
So, enter below, and if you’re one of the first fifty, you can receive a coupon to try one too. Bonus: You can also watch exclusive behind-the-scenes clips from the new movie Clash of the Titans, which opens tomorrow, April 2nd! I have been very excited about this movie because the one that came out in like 1981 with the cheesy special effects was one of my very favorite childhood films. Big D and I are going to try to sneak away to see it this weekend!
(To receive your coupon, you must click the “Try it Free” button and enter your info. You will receive your coupon from Yoplait…not me. Thanks.)
Feel free to share this with your friends via facebook, twitter, e-mail or carrier pigeon. (I noticed the link that is included for my site above takes you back to my Julie and Julia movie review. I’m not sure why, but if you use that medium to share, you can edit to just take them to this site: www.thepiratemom.com ….thanks!)
Okay…you can put your toga away now. No need to get carried away….
