Tag-Archive for » baseball «

What BASEBALL Means to Us: Dirty Birds, Among Other Things

Yes, baseball means a lot of different things to me and my crew.

First of all, it means (and I’ve covered this one before) red dirt and grass stains on white pants because guess what a baseball diamond consists of?  Red dirt and grass.  And guess where your son (or daughter) will be most of the time?  Yes, in the dirt and grass.

It means that Big D is the assistant coach this year.  It means that you will see him less and less, that he will hibernate on baseball coaching sites, and that packages from UPS will be delivered almost daily to your doorstep containing practice tees and other coaching paraphernalia.  It means that you can’t call his cell phone while he’s at a practice because he won’t answer you, of if he does, he will have no idea what you’re saying to him.  It means that Dirty Harry is thrilled to have his dad as a coach.  It means that I’m extremely proud of him for sacrificing his time and energy to fill the gap…but that I still wish he’d pick up that darn phone!

It will mean that your teenage daughter just got a lot more bored.  She will need endless change and dollar bills for infinite trips to the concession stand.  She will need to have her cell phone charged so she can make lots of phone calls to her friends.  She will ask you about ten times in an hour and half if the game is almost over.  She will be flirted with by her brother’s teammates and friends, which will make you sick to your stomach and willing to comply with her requests to stay home.

It means that your child might pitch.  And subsequently that will mean that I, as a nervous wreck, will bite off all my nails (and I don’t bite my nails).  It means that I will drink a shot of whiskey (and I don’t drink whiskey).  It means that I will go to the parking lot to smoke a cigarette (and I don’t smoke).  It means that I will retreat to my van and eat a whole box of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls (okay…I’ve been known to eat a few of those).

It means that I have to carry a twenty pound sack of taters on my back.  It means that he will cry and fuss a lot.  It means he will appeal to total strangers in the stands to free him.  It means that he will want ice water and Cheerios on demand.  It means he can’t have it because I’m not made of rubber, and I can’t reach him.  It means he’ll throw a tantrum, banging his head against my back.  It means I take him out of the carrier and hand him over to the bored teenager, killing two birds with one stone.

And speaking of birds, I never would have guessed that baseball would mean that we would have dirty birds.  But it does.  Because Big D and Dirty Harry…those stinkers!…broke my birdbath while playing catch in the backyard.  Dirty Harry threw the ball.  Big D missed it.  And my birdbath, which used to belong to my grandmother, was smashed in the process.

I’m proud of him and his strong arm, but that is ridiculous.

Don’t you just love baseball season?  I do.  I really do.

On Toy Story, Mornings, and Why I Need a GPS

Last Friday afternoon I had a little breakdown, and around 10:30am, I left my children sitting at the dining room table, doing their school work, and decided to take a ten minute breather on the computer.  I was surfing around facebook when I saw an ad for Toy Story 1 & 2.  On further investigation, I realized that Disney/Pixar was rereleasing them for a limited time in the theaters as a double-feature and in 3-D.

I immediately logged off the computer and told the kids we were going to the 1:15 showing.

“What about school?” they asked.

“Huh?” I queried.

“School,” they repeated.

“Oh, that.  Well, you can finish up over the weekend right?”  Nevermind that we had a baseball tournament and Tae Kwon Do testing.

Big D, in an e-mail exchange about our change of plans for the afternoon, wanted to know what I was planning to do with Cap’n Jack Henry.

“Hold him,” I said. 

“For three and half hours?”

“Yeah.  Sure.”  Actually, I was anything but sure, but nothing was stopping me at this point.  I was getting out of this house and going to see a double feature.

It actually went very well.  I’m not going to do a movie review because probably everyone who is reading this has seen both of these movies at least a dozen times.  They were just as cute, clever and funny as ever, and the 3-D did not give me a headache.  Jack Henry sat on my lap, bounced to the music, tried to take my 3-D glasses off, squealed occasionally, nursed through half of the first movie and slept through half of the second, and waved emphatically at Tour Guide Barbie.  I guess he likes blondes.

It was a good, albeit pricey, afternoon.

After all these years I’ve decided that I like mornings.  I still wouldn’t go as far as calling myself a morning person, but I’m getting there.

I have always wanted to be a morning person.  All the cool people are morning people.  At least in my mind.  Big D is a morning person, and I always admired how he got out of bed before sun-up and did cool things like iron his shirts, make coffee and read My Utmost For His Highest, while I still lay abed and drooled on my pillow.

Over the past year, I have begun to embrace the mornings a little.  I’m forced from my bed because I have to feed this delicious little baby, but then I find I actually enjoy staying up and enjoying the peace that comes from a quiet house when the baby goes back to bed, Big D has already left for work, and the other two kids are  still  asleep.

I don’t know if it is that my coffee is extra good or that I’m getting old.  Probably  a little of both.

I never really thought much about owning a GPS until this weekend.

Harrison had to be in Mt. Juliet, about an hour from us, at 10am on Saturday morning, for a baseball game.  Annaleigh had to be at a TKD testing at 10:15 in our town, so we had to divide and conquer.  Annaleigh made a special request to have Big D take her since he had to miss the last testing.  I think Harrison wanted Big D with him too, but he didn’t really complain, so we went with those arrangements.

On Friday night I printed the directions to the field from mapquest.  I read over them, folded them and put them in the diaper bag.

On Saturday morning, right as I was walking out the door, Big D asks if I know what I was doing.  I told him I thought so.  He tried to tell me about a confusing bit at the end of the directions.  It was something about a u-turn and running parallel to I-40 and something else.  To me, who doesn’t really get oral directions, it sounded like blah, blah, blah, blah.  I told him I was fine and left the house.

I really don’t need to expound a lot on the details of what happened somewhere between I-24 and I-40 and a little obscure road named Belinda Parkway, but at some point I had to shamefacedly call Big D because it was 10:30, and Harrison’s game started at 10:45, and we were lost.

“I told you to take your first left after you got off the Interstate,” he said.

No, I thought.  You clearly said, blah, blah, blah, blah.  But what I really did was burst into tears, tell him I was never going to find the stupid field, hung up on him, and ignore his next three phone calls.

I blindly turn into the next gas station I happen on while Indiana Mimi is telling me to try to remain calm.  I jump out of my van, tears still damp on my cheeks and stand in line at the register only to have the cashier make a surprising and inappropriate comment about my anatomy.  I marvel at the fact that of all the gas stations in Mt. Juliet I had to stop at the one being manned by a pervert.  He did, however, give me clear directions to the field, and I was able to somehow get Harrison there five minutes before the game started (only to sit and watch them lose 15-2…*sigh*).

I have a birthday coming up, and while I want a new flat iron for my hair and one of those Kindle thingies that are like an iPod for books, I think I am probably getting a GPS and some Valium.

Oh, and sorry Big D for hanging up on you.   I don’t think I ever said that.

I Came. I Saw. I Heckled.

Revenge is sweet.

Dirty Harry, as you know if you’re a regular visitor to my blog, plays baseball, and he made All-Stars.  This week the team has been playing in our district tournament, and we’ve been doing really well.  As a matter of fact, last night we played for the championship.  We lost, but I don’t want to talk about that right now.  It still hurts a little….especially since we lost in extra innings.  Because our home town was hosting this event, the stands were extraordinarily crowded, and since I’m always lugging a large stroller, a diaper bag, several folding chairs, and a large iced coffee from McDonald’s, I decided that we would try sitting out behind the left field fence.

Our view was very good, and it wasn’t until we were stationed out there that I thought about the fact that we were directly behind Dirty Harry’s position of left field.  And it wasn’t until we were out there for a while that I realized this was my golden opportunity to heckle him to death.

Oh, and heckle I did.

Hustle Harrison!  Are your feet made of lead?

Catch the ball! 

Use two hands!

Throw it in!

Second base!  Second base!

After a while I realized there was no reason to limit my comments to just baseball.  This was my chance to let it all out, to let him know how I feel about…well…everything/

Clean your room, #13!

Don’t leave your underwear on the bathroom floor!

Your handwriting is atrocious!

I still have nasty scars and stretch marks from when I carried you and brought you into the world!

He couldn’t do anything about it.  He had to just stand there and play left field and take it like a man.  But play he did!  That boy caught almost half a dozen fly balls!  Which only made me think I should heckle him more often.

I am sorry about blogging about baseball so much, but we really haven’t done much else lately.  It is consuming our lives…..or ruining it in Bonny Annie’s estimation.  Speaking of Bonny Annie, she was at the game in left field with me too…

She reads her Harry Potterbooks, makes trips to the concession stand for Icees, and complains about being there.  I have to heckle her too.

Stop you’re bellyaching!  Do you know how many Nutcracker performances your brother has had to sit through?!

I don’t think she heard me.

Cap’n Jack Henry was there as well.

He’s a heckler too.

Get the ball, Bubby!  Get it!

Throw him out!

And then it turned ugly, and he started heckling me

Get me off this ballfield, woman!  I’ve been on a baseball field for half my life!

Take this silly bib off of me!

Where is my pacifier?!

Clearly I’m going to have to use a different tactic with this one.  Heckling, I believe, will get me nowhere.

 

 

Hey Now…You’re an All-Star…Get Your Game On…Go Play

You can thank me later for getting that song stuck in your head.

Welcome to my first Flashback Friday post here on my new blog!  If you’re new to these parts, I started hosting Flashback Fridays on my old blog some time ago.  It was just a fun way to look back on my past in all of its big-haired glory.  Sometimes I’d pull up a memory from my early childhood.  Occasionally I’d focus on when one of my own children were smaller.  Just whatever form of nostalgia was tugging on my heart strings that week.

I’m not going to be hosting Flashback Fridays on The Pirate Mom Dot Com.  Hosting involved getting a link box thingamagiggy from Mr. Linky so others could post their links, and frankly, I just don’t feel like fooling with it.  Plus, I don’t think I’m going to be doing it every Friday.  However, if you ever want to post your own, by all means, do it!  You can always post your link in my comment section because, boy howdy, would I love to read your post!

Okay, so now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s move on to this week’s Flashback….

All-Stars!!!

If you followed my old blog, you know that I played a lot of softball in my youth.  I loved it!  Before I discovered softball, I basically considered myself a non-athlete.  And ever since I stopped playing, I basically have considered myself a non-athlete.

So, as a basic non-athlete, I have no qualms about being completely prideful in telling you that I made the All-Star team every year I played.  For you non-softball/baseball types, All-Stars is a collection of the best players from each of the teams in a league.  The team will then practice together and go on to play in one or several tournaments throughout the rest of the summer, after the regular season is over.

Here is a shot of me and my dad back in the day…

I believe this was from 1986, and I also believe that I had the corner of the market in AquaNet hairspray.  See that little piece from my perfectly coiffed mullet that blew up from the back?  Well, the only way to achieve that was with a very hot curling iron and a lot of sprayage.

My dad usually coached my teams, and All-Stars was no exception.  Yeah, we all called him “Mr.”  No, just kidding…it stood for MenRiv, which was the Navy housing development where I lived in Charleston, SC.

Playing softball in July in Charleston was hot.  H-O-T…HOT!  Let me just say that there was a lot AquaNet running into our eyes.  Besides the heat, my one vivid memory of playing All-Stars was going to a state tournament somewhere upstate.  We had to stay over night in a hotel, but earlier that evening we all ate dinner at a pizza parlor that was located in the back parking lot of the hotel.  We were all about 13 or 14 years-old, but that didn’t stop us from flirting shamelessly with our waiter.  Apparently, one of the girls (who WAS NOT me, Dad….I swear on my can of AquaNet!!!)from our team gave him the phone number to her room.  Well, after his shift, he and a few friends tried to find her room, and what ensued was a lot of screaming, giggling girls and two dads/coaches with softball bats.  I will never forget the sight of my dad rounding the corner of the hotel balcony with my hot pink bat in his hands, yelling at the, now fleeing,  group of boys to get away from our windows.  I will also never forget the tongue-lashing he gave me in front of my teammates….even though I WAS NOT the one who encouraged that waiter.  (My dad has always thought it was me and one of my friends….but it wasn’t.  It was someone else, and in the slight chance that you’re reading this blog, you know who you are.)

The reason I bring up All-Stars this week is because we found out this past Monday night that Dirty Harry made his Little League All-Star team!

He was nominated last year but was not, ultimately, selected for the team, so we were all super-excited for him!  So far he’s having a great time even though the practices have been extremely hot this week.  But something tells me we don’t have to worry about AquaNet getting in any of their eyes…

I know that techinically this is a Flashback, but please excuse me as I flash forward and project an All-Star of 2017….

(And I mean the one with the pacifier, as I am back to my non-athleticism these days.)

Efficiency

I am a HUGE fan of efficiency and multi-tasking.  I think most busy moms are. 

Every time I wash my hair in the shower, I always shave my legs while I let the conditioner sit on my hair for a couple of minutes.  Sometimes I clip coupons while dinner is cooking.  I try to catch up on my reading while I nurse the baby.  I plop down on the floor and do ab crunches while I talk on the phone.

Just kidding about that last one.

It seems my efficiency gene has been passed down to Dirty Harry.

I snapped this photo of Harrison right after he had just smacked a ball into left field and landed a double.  I love this photo.  He is the picture of concentration as his teammate gets up to plate, ready to run at the first crack of the bat.  He is determined.  He is tensed.  He is ready.

Did you notice that he is wearing batting gloves?  That was a new thing for this game.  He had not worn batting gloves all season.  Well, after he advanced to third base, he decided to do what he had seen the Major Leaguers on TV do and put them in his back pocket.  That was fine, except that he was not fast enough, and when the ball was hit, he was still trying to put one of the gloves in his pocket.  He took off a few feet towards home plate to see what the infield would do with the ball and dropped his glove mid-baseline.  Uh-oh….they try to throw him out at third, and he dashes back.  The ball is overthrown, and so his coach sends him home.  Harrison takes off, but the ball has been recovered by the third baseman and is being thrown to home.  I watch as my son pounds down the baseline, but wait a minute….what’s this?….what is he doing?!  Oh my word, he is stopping to pick up his dropped batting glove!!!  He does it in one fluid motion, then continues running towards home, he slides and is safe.

I slowly exhale the breath I had been holding.  And then I laugh.  I laugh right along with everyone else in the stands.  I marvel at his efficiency.  It very well was almost the right thing to do, pick up after yourself on the way to score a run.  And then I wonder aloud for the stands to hear me, “Strange that he will pick up while running the bases but will not pick up his room.” 

I think he must have selective efficiency.


30 cents off  Greek yogurt by Yoplait
I review for BookSneeze
Homeschooling Blogs
Powered By Ringsurf
Homeschool Top Sites - Best Homeschool Sites on the Internet