Yesterday I was searching through the fridge to see if any of the guacamole from the night before (which I’m blogging about on Monday) was left and fit for consumption.  When I closed the door, I saw this…

I knew immediately that Dirty Harry was the culprit.  I knew this for several reasons.

1. Big D wasn’t home and would never put something like that on the fridge.
2. Clara doesn’t have thumbs, so grasping and placing magnets would be difficult.
3. Bonny Annie is generally nice and encouraging of her littlest brother and just wouldn’t say things like that.  Plus she was on facebook.
4. I didn’t do it.
5. Jack Henry, while certainly not dumb, is only 17 months old and doesn’t have a good grasp on the English language yet.  Plus he was taking a nap.
6. Dirty Harry does things like this when he is supposed to be doing his math lesson at the kitchen table.  Plus he’s known to randomly insult people…even babies.  I think it’s an almost-ten-year-old boy thing.

So, you can just call me Sherlock from now on.  I knew it was him.

I called him to explain himself.

Me:  Harrison, why did you put this on the refrigerator?

DH:  Because I was just playing around with them when I was getting a drink.

Me:  And the letters just magically spelled that your brother….your BABY brother…is dumb???

DH:  No.  It’s just that it’s hard to spell things with only one magnet of each letter.  I was going to spell ‘JESUS ROCKS’, but you need three S’s for that.

I was still clueless as to why he still felt the need to spell something insulting about Jack Henry, even if he was lacking needed letters, but the whole JESUS ROCKS comment momentarily threw me.  I told him he should not spell things like that, even to be funny.  And I also told him that he could stand at the fridge and spell four more non-insulting sentences about Jack Henry before he could get back to his previous activity.  He groaned and complained, but he finally came up with four more.

Okay, I was still not pleased with this effort.  If you are telling someone to fix Jack Henry, then obviously you’re implying that something is wrong with him in the first place.  But I let it slide.  I guess it might imply that Jack Henry needed a Band-Aid or something.

Another imperative sentence…but a nicer one.  If Jack Henry can be quizzed, then one is perhaps a little more confident in his cognitive abilities.

This was probably the nicest of all of Dirty Harry’s statements.  While Jack Henry does not literally glow, one sometimes feels he does when he flashes you one of his big grins.  I suppose Dirty Harry could have plans of coloring him with a neon highlighter as well.  I wouldn’t put it past him.  Just last week he colored on Clara with blue permanent ink.

Since this sentence lacks a direct object, it’s open to interpretation.  Jack Henry does indeed dump whenever he gets a chance…food on the floor, baskets of books, boxes of toys…you name it, and he dumps it.  And then, if you go the crude route, which I’m sure was Dirty Harry’s intention, Jack Henry does dump in his diaper…usually twice  a day.

When I was done with all my picture-taking, I asked Dirty Harry what the “She”, written in dry erase marker, with an arrow meant in one of the pictures above.

DH:  Oh, I wrote that when it still said, ‘JACK HENRY IS DUMB’.  The arrow was pointing at Sis, since I couldn’t spell her name.  I’d need two A’s and 2 N’s for that.

Something tells me he hasn’t exactly learned his lesson yet.